I had an appointment this morning at 7:45 a.m. to get (hopefully for the last time) my blood drawn. I will get the results tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. I'm praying for a 0 but I really don't count on it already being back to normal.
What a roller coaster! I had a breakdown last night, I just had an overwhelming sadness and I was home alone which didn't help to keep myself from having a little pity party. My eyes sting today from crying last night and I still feel really sad and tired. I guess I'm just so tired of getting so excited and going through so much of an emotional high just to be let down yet again. Which I guess I'm entitled to being a little blue right now since today has only been a week.
I was talking to the nurse at my appointment this morning about when to try again and she said as soon as I'm back down to zero then there is no need to wait. Since my body "took care of things itself" this time. I honestly don't feel like trying again. I want so badly to be a Mommy it just seems completely out of reach and unobtainable.
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Beth. It breaks my heart to read your posts. You're right...you DO have every right to feel down and sad right now. I know that the journey is taking longer then anyone would ever want but one day you WILL be the best mommy I've ever known. Please hang in there and don't give up. I totally understand taking a break but don't give in to this thing. I know it doesn't help right now but I have been praying really hard for you and for Clay and for a miracle in your lives. I know that your time is coming. I love you Beth.
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